28 8 / 2014
"I think one thing you can do to help your friends who are depressed is to reach out to them not in the spirit of helping, but in the spirit of liking them and wanting their company. “I’m here to help if you ever need me” is good to know, but hard to act on, especially when you’re in a dark place. Specific, ongoing, pleasure-based invitations are much easier to absorb. “I’m here. Let’s go to the movies. Or stay in and order takeout and watch some dumb TV.” “I’m having a party, it would be really great if you could come for a little while.” Ask them for help with things you know they are good at and like doing, so there is reciprocity and a way for them to contribute. “Will you come over Sunday and help me clear my closet of unfashionable and unflattering items? I trust your eye.” “Will you read this story I wrote and help me fix the dialogue?” “Want to make dinner together? You chop, I’ll assemble.” “I am going glasses shopping and I need another set of eyes.” Remind yourself why you like this person, and in the process, remind them that they are likable and worth your time and interest.
Talk to the parts of the person that aren’t being eaten by the depression. Make it as easy as possible to make and keep plans, if you have the emotional resources to be the initiator and to meet your friends a little more than halfway. If the person turns down a bunch of invitations in a row because (presumably) they don’t have the energy to be social, respect their autonomy by giving it a month or two and then try again. Keep the invitations simple; “Any chance we could have breakfast Saturday?” > “ARE YOU AVOIDING ME BECAUSE YOU’RE DEPRESSED OR BECAUSE YOU HATE ME I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU.” “I miss you and I want to see you” > “I’m worried about you.” A depressed person is going to have a shame spiral about how their shame is making them avoid you and how that’s giving them more shame, which is making them avoid you no matter what you do. No need for you to call attention to it. Just keep asking. “I want to see you” “Let’s do this thing.” “If you are feeling low, I understand, and I don’t want to impose on you, but I miss your face. Please come have coffee with me.” “Apology accepted. ApologIES accepted. So. Gelato and Outlander?”"
P.S. A lot of people with depression and other mental illnesses have trouble making decisions or choosing from a bunch of different options. “Wanna get dinner at that pizza place on Tuesday night?” is a LOT easier to answer than “So wanna hang out sometime? What do you want to do?”
28 8 / 2014
peachieperson said: multiples of 5 go. also that pic of u on fb w short hair is so cute omg did u cut ur hair how did i not notice that you look 25 wow oh wow
my facebook profile picture? my hair’s faded and grown a lot since then i have to get it done again. but yeah it was cute.
5. What do you feel right now?
umm a lil bit sick i ate too many cheese curls
10. Who was the last person who called you?
15. Who is the last person in your contacts?
my neighbor tricia from my old neighborhood.
20. Have you ever been kissed?
25. Have you ever ridden a boat?
yep w/ my family on a lake in texas.
30. Have you ever had an argument with someone?
35. Do you ever feel bad about yourself?
40. Have you ever been in love
28 8 / 2014
If somebody knocks on the door while I’m in a public bathroom, I just start laughing and yell, “You fool! Do you have any idea what I’m capable of? Do you know what I’m doing in here?”
28 8 / 2014
- 1 - Who was the last person you texted?
- 2 - When is your birthday?
- 3 - Who is the first person in your contacts?
- 4 - What is your favorite song as of the moment?
- 5 - What do you feel right now?
- 6 - Where do you want to be right now?
- 7 - What do you want to be in the future?
- 8 - Who do you miss?
- 9 - If you were given a chance, would you like to have a different life?
- 10 - Who was the last person who called you?
- 11 - Who is your bestfriend?
- 12 - Who do you spend crazy moments with?
- 13 - Name someone pretty.
- 14 - What kind of music do you listen to?
- 15 - Who is the last person in your contacts?
- 16 - From whom was the last text message you received?
- 17 - What do you prefer, jeans or skirt?
- 18 - Did you ever have a girlfriend/boyfriend whose name starts with a “J”?
- 19 - Do you like someone as of the moment?
- 20 - Have you ever been kissed?
- 21 - Have you ever cried over someone?
- 22 - Do you have a grudge against anyone?
- 23 - Are you good at holding back your tears?
- 24 - Have you ever experienced being hysterical?
- 25 - Have you ever ridden a boat?
- 26 - Have you ever been jealous?
- 27 - What are you thinking right now?
- 28 - Who is the 6th person in your contacts?
- 29 - Do you have any memories you want to erase?
- 30 - Have you ever had an argument with someone?
- 31 - Who do you want to marry?
- 32 - Do you believe in destiny?
- 33 - How do you look right now?
- 34 - What should you be doing right now?
- 35- Do you ever feel bad about yourself?
- 36- Who’s your favorite singer/band?
- 37- What is your favorite movie?
- 38- What are you doing right at this very minute?
- 40- Have you ever been in love?
28 8 / 2014
season 1 ian and mickey: same height
season 2 ian and mickey: slight height difference
season 3 ian and mickey: visible height difference let me roll around in all the height difference
season 4: height difference becomes so noticeable there are tears perpetually falling from my eyes